he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The air was thick with penises
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
