U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
