im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
