Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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