angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
