I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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