Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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