oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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