This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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