Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I AM VODKA MAN
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
