I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
