Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
