I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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