you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
