Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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