This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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