There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
