Kiss
Puke
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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