just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dick very happy bro
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
