I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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