I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
