If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
