even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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