He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
