you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
