ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
