matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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