Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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