woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
