Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize