Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
