dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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