First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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