So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
