did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
