Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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