singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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