it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
