I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
why do cheetos always look like penises
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
