I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
