to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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