I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
