did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
