Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
