I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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