Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
