im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
