he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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