It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
