I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
