The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
